SinCe tHe dAy..hW dO i sMiLe whEn mY rEaL happiNeSs hAs gOnE...

Saturday, December 22, 2007

3:58 PM Y

Learn to cherish, before it's late

♥ You'll never know the real me.

Today,i hav apply for the ite course le..LL come my hse and we decide together,before she come to my hse,she already hav decide whr she wan to choose,bt i haven,in short..in the end i hav chosen 3 choices and the first and last choice is follow her de,second choice is i decide my own de,cos the second choice she cannot go as her eng...i really hate tis,i am nt blamig anyone nor her for nt pasiing her eng,if she pass then it will be much easier for us to choose,i ask her,wat if she pass her eng?Will she choose the course i wan?She say no,she nt interest,I hate myself,really!!I hate myself for nt being able to choose my own future,i hate myself for being so irresponsible for my future,bt i really dunno wat to do,i follow blindly,yea..wat E and JT say was rite,i am juz follow and worrying abt the friendship and nt the studies,bt i hav tried to make a decision on my own,bt none of the course i wan..so i juz follow,every course hav it difficulty so no matter wat i choose oso will dun lik de,bt why my friends can make a decision they wan?I hate myself,i dun understand myself anymore,i hope i wun regret my choices cos everything hav been decided,no way changing,nw i can onli keep walking and nt stop or turn back...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

12:35 PM Y

Learn to cherish, before it's late

♥ You'll never know the real me.

Today,getting our "N" lvl result,meeting wif my friends,we go hav lunch and then go sch together,it was raining heavily,we hav 2 umbrellas and 2 person share one,our clothes r almost all wet,we sit at the hall and listen to teacher on the stage talking and saying the percentage of the result,i wasn't listening at all,wat i was doing is looking at u,the distance was so near,yet it let me feel so far,u didn't giv a damn to me,u didn't look at me,of cos,i noe it's impossible,u will look at me onli when i walk pass u sumtime or u juz turn ur head and accidentally look at me,my result was okie okie,nobody ask me my result,accept my three friends and my bro and sis...pathetic arh?No much ppls care abt me,lolx..bt maybe it's better..cos i am leaving the sch soon,might nt get to see u anymore,so it's better to let my heart feel break and giv up u asap...