Sunday, January 30, 2011
8:50 PM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
Endure,endure,endure.The onli thing i can do now is endure.Bt i am juz afraid,afraid before i can endure till the end,i already end it all.I dunno...i am feeling so complicated,i dun need ppl who's not trying to care instead,was trying to add salt to my wound to be here looking at everything i am gg through.I can't say tat thr's nobody thr for me,bt juz...wat can they do more for me?Everyone's gg through their own troubles,everyone can console,and care for the person who's having the troubles,bt who can really be thr and really solved the problem for the person who's having the troubles?Nobody.Hw long more?It was stated 2 mths plus more,bt after tis 2 mths plus,maybe i am freedom for tis trouble,bt hw many more are thr infront waiting for me?Why are thr waves in life?To make a person stronger?I don't tink so,human gg through would onli tink they have become stronger,bt...each and everytime,is onli they tink they are,did they really become stronger after gg through all these?For me,after gg through,i become weaker,i would told myself i wouldn't wan to meet the same thing again.I will hide frm it.Tomoro will be the last day he would be thr to settle for me thing tat are nt settle,i am thks to him,bt...after he left,i can't imagine hw to survive for tat 2 mths plus.Relying is nt a gd thing,and i didn't realise,for tis 2 wks,i hav been relying on him,and nw..i am doom.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
9:39 PM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
Today is a bad bad day,cos thr's a bad bad news regarding my job.The guy hav been teaching me all stuffs,hav been my helping hand,decided to resign at the 31st of jan due to some of his family prob,and after tat..i will be working alone,i am shock after i overheard tis news,and i actually wanted to ask the guy to reconfirm it bt before i ask him,the supervisor already told me instead,my mood was lik totally 180 degree changed,is it true?Omgosh...wif him around i already work till lik no time to rest,without him around,hw am i gg to carry on for tis 2 mths plus?Thr's still alots of stuff which i am still nt sure,unknown,haven noe yet..hw am i gg to manage it when he leave sia?Lunch time,i am texting wif wifey,jie and calling mum,i told them i am sad,wifey called me,asked me wat happened,and i wan to let them noe wat happen bt out of sudden,i feel the word stuck,if i start to talk,i would juz cry out,so..i told wifey i text her abt wat happen,and..contract really isn't sumthing to play wif,i dunno wat's wrong wif it,i hav been very careful bt i still met tis incident by finding tis job.After lunch,back to working area..i asked the guy why is he quitting,and thr he told me as wat i hav mention above,then he asked me "why",i told him "i will be very lonely,and thr's still lots of stuff i dunno",while saying tis sentences...my tears start to drop,the more i am trying to control,the more tears i drop,at the point of time..i really hate myself for being so weak.I onli noe,i am scare,really scare...the feeling which i had,nt the first time,bt really dun wanna to hav it again.P.S Everything i hav written,regarding is at my blog,fb or etc.,as long as it's my matter,pls keep it private and confidential,i welcome u to view it,noe it bt nt spread it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
7:21 PM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
It's my first day of work today.Hm...so far i hav no much interest on it,as it was a warehouse environment,uncle's environment and guys environment,and...can say i am the onli gal over thr,so as i walk around the warehouse,i am lik some weird alien or wat for them to view.And...the job is complicated,wonder as time flies,i can noe more.Bt for nw...i can onli say,if..i am nt tied down by contract,today will be my last day for tis job.I am a failure?I guess so..i giv up easily on things i dislik.Maybe..tat's why i can't do things well.And this time maybe is some sort of punishment for me,for me tis kind of failure attitude,dunno hw to tink attitude.It's suck..bt i will go on for tis 3 mths,no matter wat,and after 3 mths wat will it be i dunno,it depends?I might continue if i am adapted,i might nt.LOL..why do i hav the same feeling as when i am in ite 1st yr?:/
Friday, January 14, 2011
11:29 PM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
Human's nature,when u dun hav sumthing,u will keep on chasing for it,until u hav it..u will start to worry,isit gd?And start to tink and tink and tink alots of shit..yah,tat's the shit in my brain nw,i been looking for job for so long..and nw,i seem to hav found,i started worrying...my gosh,is tis job gd?The pay lik tis gd?Will the people's over thr gd?Hw long can i tahan in tis job?Really gd uh?Really can uh?Wah...today i hav been frustrated by myself wif these ques...nonsense,of cos i noe,nv do,nv noe..bt still will hav tat worried kind of feeling...argh,shit!Fan si wo -.-.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
12:55 PM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
I am filling in tears nw,after reading the story of my dad tat my sis hav written in a website http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1738826-Dad-Part-1 ,tis link is the part1 and i hav read part2 juz few mins ago,and every single sentences remind me every single details happened "tat day",lik it was juz ytd..i onli noe tat we can appear to be so fine infront of everybody's is nt becos of the time hav flies,the things hav passed so long,feeling hav faded or watever shit,bt..is becos,we hav nv dare to really go and tink abt dad is really gone,and for tis life,we will nv get to see him anymore.If today,we sit tgt and tink abt it..i believe,the pain will lik a tornado,and our tears will lik water tap,the feeling lik 2 yrs ago remain the same,thr's one day in the car,sis was working..so thr was onli mum,bro,me and 2 kids mum taking care of in the car,we talk abt something and suddenly talk abt dad..thr is one time,dad was very sick,in the morning,he drive us using his cab to pioneer mall to hav breakfast,then he went to see doctor over thr,after everything..on the way home,thr was a road which u-turn need to let the car go straight to passby first,bt dad actually u-turn without letting the car go straight to passby,and very coincidence tat thr was a police car behind,so the police car stopped my dad car,and i can see dad was very scare,he scare nt becos of the police,bt..he scare if the police take away his license,he cannot earn money to take care of us anymore,and i rmb the police was very fierce,we beg him so long and he finally giv us a chance,i felt very heartpain tinking abt tis,u noe wat..my dad was sick,he is really really sick,u(the police) ask my dad sick then dun drive car bt wat do u noe?My bro NS,sis and me was studying,my dad is the onli person earning money in tis home,wat shit do u noe?My dad might be wrong,bt..no matter wat,he is an adult,why do u talk to him in the way lik scolding him,he is really sick,really really sick,u dunno hw much it pain us,his sickness..hav nv recover,nv at all...till the day he passed away,i hope he is fine nw in another world,i feel myself so unfilial at times,i dunno the reason,i juz feel so.Dad...we miss u so much,so so much.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
10:18 AM Y
Learn to cherish, before it's late
♥ You'll never know the real me.
Happy New Year 2011 (:.Yea..the first day of 2011,and i am gonna say abt the happening on 2010.At the yr of 2010,i hav study a make-up course at Cosmoprof,frm thr...i hav attended events lik MBS opening ceremony to make-up for the kids,NDP to make-up for the performers and YOG to make-up for the performers too.Throughout 3 of the events,i lik MBS the most =P.After my cosmoprof,it was abt sept,i hav take up a job tat is nt related to make-up bt it was a 2wks temp event job NJRC(National Junior Robotic Competition) at science centre,at first..i noe nth abt tis job,i start to fear and dunno shld i work for tis job,bt...as i consider it was a 2wks job,so i giv it a try,as i am nt working alone,i work wif esther too,bt..at first,me and esther was being told tat we will be working diff kind of thing,at first esther was being put as team coordinator and me was crowd control,bt..as esther unable to attend the training so our position was switch,become i am team coordinator and esther is crowd control,first day working..me and esther went tgt,bt esther was nt being told tat she onli need to came 1 wk lata,so esther being put to team coordinator,same as me (;.Thr we go,1st wk..presentation wk,it was omg fun,frm thr..we get to communicate wif students,our "boss" and our working partners,we become friend,and it was really fun,we always meet at mrt station and walk to work tgt,eat tgt,and walk to take train home tgt,i still missing those fun nw,the first job which i wish i could be able to work lik forever?Haha.2nd wk of the job is challenge wk,come to tis part,at first i am really quite worried abt i couldn't do it well,bt at the first day,i admit i didn't do it really well,bt half of the first day,i get to click wif the job,it's juz leading the students here and thr,frm thr...i noe some new friends intro by esther,and oso i noe those students...i lik those 2 wks,can hav fun,can make friends,can earn money at the same time.After tis job,i been slacking at home abt 1 mth plus and start to find a perm job,bt sadly..till nw i still couldn't found one,i guess i am too choosy,will see hw,hope a new yr bring me somewhr else.Somewhr which i could mention it on the next yr lik hw i mention cosmoprof,njrc on the New yr 2011 (:
